Skip to main content

is Marriage 'Romantic Narcissism'?



Ed:
All these sites basically aim to match people with versions of themselves - Romantic narcissism, is what it is.

For me,  I like difference and mutual adaptation.  Become more that way.  But in these grossly self-centred times, it's difficult to find someone like that.

Sometimes, the more i look at relationships these days, methinks, there might be some virtue to arranged marriages as when two strangers get together, there is an understanding that it would require mutual learning and adaptation for it to work.....provided it is not undertaken within a patriarchal scheme of things.

But when it comes to many 'love marriages', 'romantically narcissistic marriages', there is an expectation for it to work WITHOUT much mutual learning or adaptation.  Such a stance is reserved only for work or 'careers'.  Hence, such relationships wane in passion with the passage of time, or where significant differences persist, the relationship ends, or is reduced to two people living separate lives together.

Anna Louise :
the problem with that is ideology, if you're not ideologically similar to someone from my experience it's just not gonna work, but surface deep stuff it's good to have differences. i think there are things people can't adapt to like deeply held moral positions etc.

Ed :
Anna Louise Kathleen Jane,  in all my relationships, both romantic and otherwise, I've always stipulated that it should not be myself or the other who ought to rule, but reason.  The perfect woman, to me, is not one who is a good match to myself, but one who attempts to realise it.  The same goes for my matching her too.

Even in matching, I identify 3 types.  Matching down/neutral/up.  For instance,  picking up alcoholism just because the other is one would be matching down.  Picking up some of the others gastronomic tastes, provided it is not injurious to health, would be matching neutral.  And picking up exercise because the other is into it, would be matching up.  The latter 2 is good.  I expect and deliver both.


ed

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Is singapore a tyranny, or are people to dumbed down to feel it?

The following is a consideration of the perspective posted at the site, 'article14'. The site, in discussing the so-called 'Black Sunday movement' whose members wear black and congregate at Starbucks - perhaps they have an unstated desire to boost Starbucks sales of overpriced beverages, or perhaps Starbucks is paying for their black garments...silly people - to express their support for the freedom of expression - brought up certain points that seem to be commonly held by the 'singaporeans' of today.

Manifesto Against Same-Sex Marriages and Homo-Promotion

My stand against homosexuality is based on the following.  It is a logical, rather than a personal, decision.

Under the slogan, 'the freedom to love', it in principle justifies incestuous, group, etc, marriages.  All it requires is 'consenting adults', without an inquiry into what it means to be an 'adult' in intelligent, moral, and introspective terms.

This in turn encourages a ‘go with your feel’ tendency, which in itself gives rise a myriad of tendencies that go unquestioned.  Right and wrong ceases to matter, and even if something is illegal, one can still view it as society just having its own bias against it, just as it once had a ‘bias’ against homosexuality.

‘Nothing is natural.  Everything is just a matter of preference.’  That is the basic thrust of this unfortunate situation.  In fact, having a preference is in itself seen as evidence of one’s intelligence.  No attention needs to be paid to intellectuals, thinkers, philosophers, sages, religious te…