‘Beautiful’ Women & Kids-on-tow

I don’t know how far this is true in the case of ‘beautiful’ women in other countries, but I’ve noticed in the course of the past decade how so called ‘beautiful’ women, when married, and with child or children, tend to walk ahead of their children and not with them.

They don’t hold their child’s hand, or walk beside them, but do the ‘strut’ in front of them. And if they do turn around to check to see if the child is still in tow, it is infrequent, and only a quick glance is given. Well, it is not just now that I noticed this phenomenon, but the past decade or so. This is not as much the case with ‘normal’ or ‘less beautiful’ women. After all, one has to ensure that one makes such comparisons as well because one’s observations might be tainted by the possibility that one tends to remember more things about ‘beautiful’ women than ‘normal’ women and thus wrongly allege that the former do more of this than the latter.

I suppose when we don’t have the ‘shortcut’ of looks to rely upon, we might focus more on character.I pointed this out to a couple of Chinese friends whilst sitting at the neighbourhood coffeeshop (‘choice@203’, opposite Singapore Press Holdings). Perhaps, i remarked, they don’t want to acknowledge that their status has changed from ‘available’ to ‘married/mother’. Or perhaps they don’t want the public to view them as either ‘married/mother’ so that they can be appreciated for the ‘hot chick’ identity they might have thrived on prior to being married, becoming a mother.

This makes me wonder what their ‘beauty’ was based on previously. What amount of self-absorption does it take to leave your kid trailing you as if on an invisible leash? How much of their self-absorption has been encouraged by society, the media, and men as a whole? And i wouldn't be surprised that having men, their husbands, their employers, and their dogs on a leash makes them pretty well-practiced enough to do unto their kids as they have done unto all.

And how, I wonder, are such women perceived to be ‘beautiful’ in the first place? For myself, such women are a major turn-off. I often wonder how my friends and acquaintances can gawk at such people and not notice their grossly arrogant and self-absorbed ‘expressions’ on their faces. I suppose men tend to encourage such rubbish in women.

My reaction to such expressions is not unlike a heterosexual’s when a beautiful women pulls down her knickers only to reveal a penis. Oh yeah, I still check them out - perhaps some part of myself is still primitive enough for me to do so - but i’m under no illusions as i’m fully aware of what they are in persona and wouldn’t give them more respect that i would the ‘ah so’(old lady) who serves tea and coffee at the coffeeshop. Or, to be honest, i would probably be friendlier with the ‘ah so’ given their genuine smiles. I suppose when we don’t have the ‘shortcut’ of looks to rely upon, we might focus more on character.



ed




2 comments:

  1. Good observations! I have taken notice of this only in the past few years that these ‘beautiful’ women in singapore often do not walk along side with their children. They are well aware that the men are looking at them thus maintaining a certain distance in front of their child/children. At first i thought i could be wrong so i actually kept my attention on numerous occasions to see if they got into the same car. And ten out of ten times, they did! In fact, this phenomena does not happen between ‘beautiful’ women and children, you could also see it in the case of ‘beautiful’ women and their husbands. It is always the men trailing behind these women. So we know who is holding the stick in the family.

    You do not actually see this if they are still in their courtship phase as I notice that in the case of young couples, the ‘beautiful’ women and their men still hold hands and walk together. The children when growing up in such conditions will assume the similar roles of the parents and most likely behave/act the same way when they grow up.

    I feel the same way as you do, Ed - how are such women perceived to be ‘beautiiful’ in the first place? To me, its a big turn off. Such gross self-absorption does not deserve to get any attention from men. Certainly, not from me. Singapore men should start giving more focus on character.

    Cheers

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  2. Yes. I have seen how 'hot' women rule the men. One china bloke working at the coffeeshop as a cleaner - and whom i used to chat and play chinese chess with - once told me that singapore/chinese men behave like women. Quite true. Well, that's confucian culture for you. The moment a confucian society modernises and women are given equality, they take the helm. I suppose women are stronger worldwide, but in confucian states, men seem especially weaker.

    As for 'beautiful' women walking ahead of men, i don't see that often. But i do agree with you though.

    The best way to observe who 'wears the pants' is in body language once they are seated, i.e. eye contact whilst the other is speaking, who is leaning forward whilst a conversation is going on and who is not, sitting posture, chair position, etc. The so-called 'hot' women tend to exhibit all the body language as can be expected of 'big shots'.

    I'm inclined to think that chinese women, and then later on, women of all ethnic groups in singapore, tend to be attracted only to men 'who can be controlled'. If you think about it, this is reflected in all levels of chinese society. The government preferred to keep a 'racial balance' in favour of chinese people so that they can be controlled via chinese culture; employers prefer people they can control; laws are enacted to maintain control despite reason; etc, etc.

    Hence, it is not surprising that chinese states tend to be highly conformist and the people quite backward in creative and out-of-the-box thinking. Where control is valued over reason, all of these, and much else, is to be expected. Of course the chinese, and others reared within such a climate aren't going to be aware of this as they all share a similar plight, and thus take it for 'it's like that one lorrrr'.(that's the way it is). Unfortunate really.

    ed

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